Picture it: Wakefield, 2025.

‍You’ve just launched a stand-up little operation - a real classy joint. Maybe you’re keeping teenagers outta trouble with some good, clean martial arts in Crigglestone. You got the name, the board, the safeguarding policy, and enough community spirit to make Al Capone cry into his pinstripes.

All that’s left? Open a bank account.‍

Easy, right?
Wrong. So Very Wrong Kid…

Welcome to the Cold, Cold World of Charity Banking

You walk into the bank thinking it’s a formality. You’re legit. Above board. A straight shooter.

But the guy behind the counter gives you a look like you just walked in carrying a violin case and a Tommy gun. According to the Charity Commission - 42% of trustees say their banking experience is less mission-driven and more mob trial.

Here's the rap sheet:

• 32% struggled just trying to update signatories. Because hey, why not requiremore paperwork than a Prohibition raid?
• 18% couldn’t open a new account without weeks of back-and-forth, like trying to book Al Capone a holiday in Geneva.
• 6% had their accounts frozen without warning. One minute you're buying glitter glue, the next you're being interrogated like a Gin-runner in '29.

And this ain’t happening to international rackets - this is happening to your grandma’s knitting group.

“No, We're Not Laundering Money with Cupcake Sales”

Look, Wakefield ain’t Chicago, and Nova ain’t running speakeasies out the back of a community centre. But you wouldn’t know it from how banks are treating local organisations.

Some of you wise folks have waited months to get an account open - only to be asked for more ID, another committee meeting, and the maiden name of your aunt’s cousin’s hamster.

It’s like applying for a licence to moonshine.

The Experts Are Worried - And They Don’t Scare Easy

Even the Institute of Chartered Accountants in England and Wales has called the charity banking situation a full-blown crisis.

Charities have missed grant deadlines, lost funding, and in some cases, had to stash donations under the proverbial mattress (or actual biscuit tin).

This ain't the Roaring Twenties, folks - it's 2025, and we still can't get a basic community account without triggering alarms at HQ.

So What’s a Law-Abiding Charity to Do?

1. Pick Your Bank Like You’d Pick a Partner in Crime

• High-street banks can act like you’re smuggling diamonds.
• Specialist banks (CAF Bank, Charity Bank) are the Eliot Ness of charity accounts - straight shooters.
• Digital banks (Starling, Tide) move fast, but check if they’ll take your "operation."

2. Bring the Right Paperwork Or Else

Banks want:

• Your constitution (the "rulebook" of your outfit)
• ID for all trustees (could be passport, utility bill).
• Charity number (if you’re registered).
• Minutes from your last meeting 

3. Keep Your Trustees Clean (Financially, at Least)

• If one trustee’s credit history looks like a rap sheet, the bank might walk away.
• Rotate signatories or use a corporate trustee.

4. Start Small, Then Go Big

• Some banks offer basic accounts first - like a probation period before you’re fully "made."

5. Avoid the Shakedown (Fees)

• High-street banks love charging you for the privilege of existing.
• Metro Bank, Co Op, Bank of Scotland offer free charity accounts - no "protection money" required.

6. If You Get Rejected, Ask Why (Then Try Again)

• Banks won’t always talk, but if you fix the issue (missing docs, sketchy trustee), you might slip through next time.

7. When All Else Fails, Call in the Fixers

• Accountants or charity advisers can grease the wheels.
• Fiscal hosting (letting another organisation handle the money) can help.

You're Not Alone in This Capone-Style Caper

If you've been left shouting at your online banking screen like it's a double-crossing mobster, you’re in good company.

From South Elmsall to Stanley, we’ve got groups being treated like criminal masterminds for trying to buy juice boxes and beanbags.

So tell us your tale and we'll do our best to help.

‍Get in touch with Nova:

‍info@nova-wd.org.uk
01924 367418
Or swing by the office on our next drop-in day (third Tuesday of the month).

By Martin Brennan, Nova Adviser